Where I'm Meant To Be
by Davens
Summary: Songfic to Rhianna's Unfaithful. Jude is with Spied but cheating on him with her special someone, will she find where she is meant to be?


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Instant Star, or the song, "Unfaithful," by Rhianna.**

_**Story of my life,  
Searching for the right,**_

All throughout my life, I couldn't find the right guy. One that I would love, and that he would love me back. I was close with one, I loved him, but he didn't love me. Then he broke up with me on my birthday, on national T.V., and he was then dating my most-hated enemy. After him, I thought I loved my best friend, who I've known for like ever. Didn't work out so well. Now I'm with my lead guitarist, Spied, and I might be in love, and he might be in love. And it's all a game of might's, and what ifs, and maybes. But then there is my producer. I know I'm in love with him, but he sends me mixed signals. Does he love me? Doesn't he love me? He kisses me, then takes it back. What's a girl to do?

_**But it keeps avoiding me,  
Sorrow in my soul,**_

I can't help but feel the fates are toying with me. Like there is the right guy right in front of me, and yet I can't see him. I really wish I knew who he was. It seems that I can't find someone who would respect me for me, and wouldn't want to change me. I can't seem to find the right guy, and it's really sorrowful.

_**Cause it seems that wrong,  
Really loves my company,  
**_

I feel that wrong instead of right, really loves my company. I can't mistake that this thing I have with Spied could be love, because it could be the complete opposite.

_**He's more than a man,  
And this is more than love,**_

_**The reason that the sky is blue,  
The clouds are rolling in,  
Because I'm gone again,  
And to him I just can't be true…**_

It's like Spied to me is more than love, the reason that the sky is blue. But I can see the clouds are rolling in, because I'm gone again, and to him I can't be true. For some reason, there is something there that continually pushes me away. I can't help but not be there. It's like he's pushing me away.

_**And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying**_

I know that he knows I'm unfaithful. I can't help but know that it kills him inside. That I feel the need to go and be happy with some other guy. That I know he thinks that I'm not happy with him, I am, I just need that special someone, that I can't be with, and yet… We get together. I can see Spied dying every time I leave.

_**I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer**_

I don't wanna do this to him anymore, I can't take this guilt I have over my heart. My heart that belongs to another, and yet I'm still with Spied. I can't handle being the reason why he can't ever get over me, why he stays, even though he knows where I go day after day, every time I walk out the door, through his eyes, I see him die a little more inside. I don't wanna hurt him anymore. I don't think I could handle seeing him die anymore. I don't think I could take it, but yet I'm slowly taking away his life. I don't wanna be… I can't even say it… a… murderer… I don't want to kill Spied's heart...

_**I feel it in the air  
As I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss upon my cheek  
As he reluctantly  
Asks if I'm gonna be out late**_

I feel it in the air, as I'm doing my hair. I have another date with my special someone. I'm almost afraid to go, because I feel so guilty for going when Spied wants me to be there with him, but I need to go… I have to go… I can't not go. Preparing for another date, he kisses my cheek, as he reluctantly asks, "Are you gonna be out late?"

_**I say I won't be long  
Just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell  
Because we both know  
Where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well**_

I say, "I won't be long. Just hanging with the girls." A lie I didn't have to tell. Because we both know where I'm about to go. And we know it very well. Even though I wish it didn't have to be this way… I know it won't be awhile before either of them leave me, or I leave them.

_**Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying**_

I walk out the door towards the building across the street, and a couple blocks down. I ring the bell, and I'm already buzzed up. He knew I was coming. I walk in the building, and take the elevator up to the top floor. The door's open, like it always is, and I walk in. He's there like he always is.

He asks, "So, what do you want to do today?" Just like he always asks.

**_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why_  
**_**Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer**_

"I'm not sure if I should be here."

"Of course you should be here. Jude, I need you! I can tell you need me too! We can't stop what we have. I think you should break up with Spied. We can finally be together."

"I need time to think about this."

He walks towards me. He grabs me by the back of the neck, and he kisses me hard. It's filled with passion, lust, and love.

"Does that give you your answer?"

"Maybe."

We proceed to make love. I can't help but feel all the love here, more than I do with Spied. It's so wrong, how this feels so right.

Afterwards, we talk for a little bit then I leave.

"Ok, I'll break it off with him. But you have to promise to be here."

"I promise."

_**Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore  
Uh  
Anymore (anymore)**_

So I leave and the next time I go I'm hoping to be with him, and not Spied. I just can't do this anymore. I want to be with Spied, but I want to be with him too. I love him, but Spied, he's like a brother. We can't make out, it creeps me out. So I walk in, and I see Spied with Sadie. I guess we both love other people.

"Spied, we need to talk."

"Jude!" He sputters.

"Spied, it's fine, we both love other people, so I think it's best we end this. Hello Sadie. Can't wait for the invitation."

"What invitation?" Sadie asks.

"To your wedding, you too are in love with each other. I can see it."

"Thanks Jude."

"No problem. But can I still live here?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

_**I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
And every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer (a murderer)** _

**No no no no**

**Yeah yeah yeah**

The next day I go back to his place. I walk in, ride the elevator. I walk in through the open door, and I see him there smiling.

"Tommy!" I run into his arms, and I feel his strong arms wrap around me. This is where I'm meant to be.

**The End**


End file.
